If you could go back in time to talk to your younger self, what would you tell yourself?

This was a question posed to me by my pastor last week, and it really had me thinking - a lot. What would I tell myself that would really make a difference in my life today? Was there anything of such importance that would make me want to go back in time to tell myself something? That was a topic I had to put a lot of thought into before I was ready to answer that question. It wasn't as easy as I first thought it would be.

What would you tell yourself if you had the chance to go back in time?

Let's pretend you only have one statement and a short time to say it. What would that one statement be and how much meaning should it have?

For many, this is a complex topic. For others, the answer may be quite simple. Perhaps a bit of advice, something you know now but didn't long ago. Maybe a warning, preventing heartache, or trauma. Reminders to smell the roses along the path of life and learn to enjoy the moment would be your statement. Life's little lessons can be quite subjective, so let's narrow this down a little first.

What is most important to you right now? Family, career, children, finances, relationships...there is a host of learning we do as adults that are not available to us in our younger years. Would warnings do any good if the lesson is not learned any other way? What if the suffering or the joyfulness is necessary to your growth? What if losing that special someone or that precious possession is the only way you understand the why's in your life? Should we really limit ourselves in such ways?

When I was younger, I made "rules for living" that would guide my path. My number one rule was "Trust no one 100%, not even yourself." Later on, I added, "except Jesus" to that statement not because I actually believed it, but that was the only 'person' in the world who had never failed me. Did I come to understand adding that little bit to my statement later? Sure. War will do that to you. There were nights I wondered if I would make it through, and if I did sleep, would I wake up the next day. Yet, here I am staring down sixty. Obviously, I made it, but I am certain I didn't do it all alone.

Time after time, I was saved from the fire of a life gone wrong, headed down the wrong path, doing things I shouldn't have, and knowing things I regret knowing I did. Finding forgiveness from those who may have hurt me was a difficult task, but a necessary one. It doesn't mean I have forgotten, or would place myself in those situations again, by any means. I also doesn't mean I have healed from those incidents or situations and would let myself get pulled into relationships fostering those kinds of situations again. It means there are scars that will not go away. Though those scars may be permanent, they don't define me.

I am not a victim. I am not a survivor. I am a child of God, a soldier of the Most High, created to be wonderful in all the abilities He gave me and to not let the evil of this world condemn me to a life of joylessness. No, I take pride in my failures and mistakes, trauma and suffering along with the joy and happiness. Those things do not define me either. They are what made me who I am today - a strong, accomplished business woman, mother, wife, professor, veteran, and creator. Through all life threw my way, I have grown, learned, gained support, and found a love for myself I didn't have when I was younger. What defines me? My walk with Christ is what defines me, and to Him, I am perfect even with all my flaws. That is how He sees me, and so should I.

So, back to the topic at hand. What would I tell my younger self? Would I tell myself to avoid certain relationships that failed, jobs that didn't work out, avoid specific people, places, or events? Would I tell myself to take a different path or make different choices? Would it make any difference of who I am today? Yes, I think it would, and I wouldn't be the same person I am now if anything changed. Perhaps I wouldn't have met my husband, or had my children, or live where I do today, or been to the places I have, or even served in the military. All of that would make me a different person, and not who I am now. That is not what God wants from me, nor from you. We are who we all are because of those choices, that experience, those places, those times...

What I would tell myself is to love myself more, appreciate myself more, and have a closer and more personal relationship with Jesus. The struggle keeps me honest, but not with myself. I can be my own worst enemy. Yet, when I am in the fire, it is then that I find the only one I who has brought me through hell and back. It is my story. Everything and anything I face, it was with Him at my side. Sometimes He carried me, and I didn't even know it. Am I trying to tell myself the "footsteps" story? Not at all. While Footsteps is a wonderful reminder that He never leaves us even when we think He has, but that's not quite the thing I would say to myself.

No. It simply comes down to this: Have a closer walk with the Lord. You are amazing, created for wonderful deeds for His purpose. Recognize your worth, no matter what the world says.

What has been made apparent to me as I age is my worth. It isn't about wealth, health, power, or status. It matter to God. The sooner you recognize your worth, it becomes painfully apparent. No one is in this world by accident. No one. We all have purpose, and in His time, you will find it. Sharing in a closer relationship with God is really all we should need. The rest will be provided. And while that may be hard for some to understand now, but all in good time - my Friend, you will come to know there is no other way. He will take away your burdens and bring you peace.

Moreover, I wouldn't do this for just myself, but for all those who have come and gone in my life, and most especially for the ones that will always be in my life, like my children, parents, spouse, and family, both immediate and extended. Why? Would it make any difference now? Probably not, but it would have made a huge difference in the past. The way I treated myself, thought of myself, treated others, looked at the world, expectations, opinions, options, choices - all would have changed with one simple difference - a closer walk with Jesus.

A closer relationship with Him changes your outlook, how you see yourself, the world, and everything that happens in it - good and bad.

Life is messy. Jesus is the one thing that isn't. He is my peace amid the chaos.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

No King but Jesus.

Tell me what you would tell your younger self! Add to the conversation! I want to hear them all! Let's talk about this. Do you agree with me or have a better idea? Let me know! I LOVE to hear from you!

Until then, in love & light - stay blessed!
Dr. Amy